PLEASE FORGIVE ME MUM
Dear Mum,
One day after school, I was sat on the settee with your fiance, Graham. ‘Thing is,’ he told me. ‘Your mum and I aren’t getting on any more.’
‘No!’ I wanted to shout. Graham was a decent bloke, he’d become like a father figure to me and my younger sister Carolyn, 11.
You’d got engaged 18 months ago but, lately, things between you and him had soured. You’d been arguing over such silly things, but I was only 16 - what did I know about relationships?
‘What are you two talking about?’ you barked as you walked through the door.
‘Just chatting,’ Graham sighed. I bolted upstairs and buried my head under the pillow to block out the shouting.
It felt like history was repeating itself. A few months before you met Graham, you’d split with my dad jack, after 19 years of marriage.
I’d always been a daddy’s girl and, when he left, I went to live with him. One day, Carolyn phoned to tell me you’d met Graham.
‘He’s a DJ,’ she told me. ‘He’s nice.’
I’d popped round for tea to check him out. He cooked fish fingers and asked me all about school. I’d never seen you looking so happy.
Me and you got on better than we’d done in years. We chatted for hours and went out to bingo. Two months later, I’d moved back in.
But our happiness was short lived. A year on, Graham packed his bags and told me you and him were splitting up.
‘Take me with you,’ I begged him. I couldn’t bear to lose another dad. ‘Don’t be silly,’ you snapped. But I wanted a dad as well as a mum. So while you were out one day, I left. I turned up on Graham’s doorstep and refused to move til he let me stay in his spare room.
To pay my way, I helped do the accounts for his DJ business. I didn’t call you, I was scared of what you might say.
But one day you phoned. ‘Are you shacking up with my daughter?’ you yelled to Graham.
‘It’s all innocent,’ he replied. And it was. Then.
A couple of weeks later, Graham took me for a Chinese. As I tucked into a chicken chow mein, Graham stopped eating and looked at me.
‘I’m having more fun now than I ever did with your mum,’ he said.
As he smiled, the creases around his eyes became very sexy. It was like I was seeing him for the first time.
But he was my mum’s ex-fiance. And at 41, the same age as my dad. But there was Graham looking straight into my eyes. I have to admit, my heart skipped a beat.
We walked home in comfortable silence. On the landing, he turned to go into his bedroom. ’Well, goodnight,’ he said.
We stood there staring at each other for what seemed like ages. Then he closed his bedroom door. It was me that made the first move, mum. I pushed open the door and crept through the darkness into Graham’s bed.
‘What the…’ he stuttered as I kissed him on the lips. He didn’t protest after that. I’d only ever slept with a 15-year-old lad on a camping trip and I’d felt awkward and seedy. But as Graham gently made love to me, it felt so right. I told Carolyn about us first.
‘That’s disgusting!’ she screamed. ’He’s old enough to be your father,’
She refused to speak to me after that. It hurt as we’d been so close.
Then one night, Graham and I went for a romantic walk and a familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.
‘Keep your hands off my daughter,’ you shouted at Graham. ’Just ignore her,’ he whispered. ‘I never meant to hurt you!’ I wanted to scream.
But you’d already gone. I knew why you were angry - but it didn’t stop me loving Graham.
A few months before my 17th birthday, I was at one of Graham’s gigs at a pub in Shipley. Suddenly, the music stopped and Graham tapped the microphone.
‘Joanne,’ his voice crackled. ‘Will you marry me?’ Everyone stared at me.
‘Yes,’ I grinned. Graham slipped a diamond solitaire on my finger, and waltzed me round the floor. Eight months later, I was pregnant.
Graham was at my side at Huddersfield Royal Infirmary when I went into labour. But I wished you were there holding my hand as I pushed my 5lb 9oz daughter, Aleysha, into this world.
When she was two, we’d saved enough money to get married.
‘I want mum there,’ I told Graham. ‘I don’t mind,’ he said. ‘It’d be nice if you could work things out.’
So I wrote you a letter. A few days later, we were sitting outside the pub enjoying a drink when a car pulled up. A man stormed over to us and thrust something into my hand.
‘Your mum doesn’t want this,’ he shouted. It was my letter that you’d screwed up into a ball.
I looked over at the car. There you were with your back to me. Why didn’t you turn around mum? I’d been with Graham nearly five years, surely it was time to bury the hatchet?
At least Carolyn did. I rang her and we met up. ‘Let’s put the past behind us,’ she said. I can see you and Graham are happy.
But as we exchanged vows at Huddersfield register office in front of dad and Carolyn, I realised you might never forgive me.
Aleysha’s 5 now. You’ve missed her first steps and her first day at school. I know you still care because you call my house every week.
Aleysha picks up the phone but there’s no-one there - I’m convinced it’s you.
She just wants to meet her granny and I want my mum back. I know you think I stole your man but if you can’t forgive your daughter then who can you forgive?
Please get in touch.

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